Relationships: The First Kiss

by Susan Semeniw | July/August 2012

Remember the magic of that first kiss? The anticipation, the magic, the butterflies…

Well, that first kiss is so much more important than we thought. According to research in Evolutionary Psychology shows that 55% of men and 66% of women couldn’t tell if they are attracted to someone until that first kiss. Most of us go on a date and make a decision at the beginning whether or not we are attracted to someone; if we are not attracted to them, we’ll dismiss them. However, a simple kiss can change that.

A lot of people, women especially, change their mind about someone if the first kiss is good. Kissing can also determine if a relationship can be initiated. According to the evolutionary theory, there are psychological changes during a kiss that subconsciously signal if the other person could be a good partner.

So, how is this relevant to dating and relationship? Basically: if you’re not sure if you are attracted to someone or not, kiss them. Often, uncertainty can be turned into being supremely surprised and blown away at how sweet the kiss was. If you feel something, it is a good sign; however, if you don’t, it could be that you’re just not a match.

Consider these tips if you’re preparing for that first kiss, and don’t delay. If you’re confused about whether someone’s in the friend zone or not, don’t hold back and just go for it. Get the uncertainty over with.

If you think a kiss is in your future, make sure you have nothing stuck in your teeth and that your breath is fresh. Always be prepared with mints on hand, just in case; nothing kills intimacy faster than bad breath. Most girls also appreciate smooth skin; so guys, make sure you’ve eliminated your stubble beforehand with a close shave.

Ease into the kiss—you shouldn’t make it awkward; it should feel natural. As with anything, it’s important to relax. Also, make sure you’re somewhere private so you both feel comfortable. Lean in to the other person and make eye contact. If you’re the girl, look up at him. Let him know it is okay to go for it by putting your arms on his shoulders or around his neck. Drop your gaze slowly to focus on his lips and then, with a smile, look back up at him. Guys, this is the green light to go; so, take control and kiss her. Make sure that there’s no inappropriate groping, grabbing, grinding or death grip. Hold her nicely around the waist and bring her into you. Lastly, make it sweet and clean. Remember, slobbering is for pets and tonsil hockey is for teenagers. Kissing gets to be enjoyed by us humans!